kitty (hisslavekitty) wrote in the_toybox,

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i have been a bad girl.... (X-Posted)

Master and i had a wonderfully wicked weekend this past weekend, and i am JUST now getting around to posting about it.

i guess the main thing i have to say about it is that i was kept in my place all weekend - constantly reminded that i am His toy, His plaything, His fuck, His slave... i answered room service in nothing but a nightie with my plug inserted, i was locked out of the room barely dressed....shivering in the hallway, i was raped, used as a footstool, sodomized, left on the floor like a puppy at His feet, i crawled, begged, humped, stripped like a dancer....all in only a few days. It felt wonderful, and i was afraid that it would all end too quickly. i went i deep into subspace when i was accidentally choked while He was fucking me, and i was in a very dark place...calling myself names i have called myself before, only in this guttoral, screaming voice that didn't seem to even be my voice. i went deeper and further than i have ever gone...i was so into everything we were doing - writhing on the floor, humping His leg, slapping my own face with His cock....i was a total whore in every sense of the word....and i was reveling in it. i am almost ashamed of myself....but i loved the way He looked at me, the way He refered to my behavior after the weekend was over with a sly grin....i know i pleased Him.

i have been fighting, however, with something new. Something i have always sort of looked down my nose at....and it is the 'Daddy' thing. Now don't get me wrong, i have nothing against the 'little girls' who write about and love their 'Daddies'. it has just never been my thing - at least i THOUGHT it wasn't....then He started talking baby talk to me, telling me oh so sweetly to fuck Him this way, or do that....and i totally got into it. So much so, that it really bothered me most of this week. i know there is nothing wrong with it, it is just so far from my personality to behave that way....and it was a strange first for me. But now that i think about it, i had a one night stand with a friend a long while back who sweetly asked "Do you have cum for me?" as he was fucking me....he asked me like i was a little girl, and i got off to it then, too....i just didn't put it in that context, and never really thought about it afterwards.

Something else happened this week. Master and i began baby steps to opening up our relationship again....He is now playing with another sub - though, not sexually. My jealousies have dissolved, and when i was in class thinking of the two of them together, i smiled, knowing how much He enjoys being above He enjoys watching them beneath Him - and how she was finally getting flogged and more, in a way that is safe and insightful. i just wanted Him and her to be happy....and to have fun, and then to crawl next to Him in bed....with Him that much more pleased with His girl...

i hope He is...
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